The Last Word
Defying ‘fragilitis’
by Kenneth Claus '67
April 1, 2009
Kenneth Claus '67Hindus and, increasingly, many American Christians, now believe in reincarnation. I have the sneaking suspicion, though, that if I had it to do all over again, I’d pretty much make the same mistakes—elevating bad choices and denials of all flavors into art forms. It’s not unlike finally glimpsing an angel and being mooned—once is enough, thank you very much.
I have had two life-threatening issues. This is about one of them. Add up making a bad career move (bigger is not better!), stress (handled wonderfully badly), a severe reaction to medication (this is not fun) and you get Sept. 23, 1988, Shands Hospital, University of Florida—and a heart transplant, only the 39th for that institution (read: very experimental, no one really knew much about how long these would last and other wonderful goodies). If you Google “heart transplant” you will be hard pressed to see numbers for how long recipients survive. In my category, the answer is very, very few. Following are some observations about why I may still be here 20 years post-transplant.
GENETICS. Some of our forebears did survive pestilence, plagues, anthropomorphic mutations and apocalyptic in-laws. Genes that survived got passed down and enable present-day inheritors to survive too. We need to do a lot of sustained and focused research on how genetics can enable people to survive catastrophic illness. Coupled with stem-cell and other research, a whole new world of health care is on the horizon. I’ve heard preachers disagree—but notice: None of them are coping with a painful and life-ending disease. Did you also notice a lot of these same preachers are looking very well fed? Very well, indeed.
A WICKED SENSE OF HUMOR. Some people are just born with an ability to see things differently. The late George Carlin comes to mind. And they make us laugh. At ourselves. At others. At life. Without humor, mine or other’s, I would have given up long ago. Gandhi said the same thing. Hobbes was right: Life is too often short, brutish and mean. As Carlin noted: “… it also takes up a lot of your time, and what do you get at the end of it?” Humor, I have come to believe, just may be the divine antidote to life.
ATTITUDE. Lots of books are proclaiming the value of a positive attitude as if it were new or just rediscovered after having been long lost. And with optimism comes gratitude, too. (Those having teenage offspring may scream for a disclaimer.) I did not go through the months of post-op anxiety, drug reactions and countless biopsies to sit around and feel sorry for myself and develop “fragilitis” in which I lived but gave up on living. Sadly, I look around me and see too many who appear healthy on the outside but have given up or are just counting time on the inside. We all know better, but if knowing better won’t help, this might. A wag once wrote, “A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.” Hoo ha.
BELIEF IN SOMETHING BEYOND YOURSELF. Secular studies have shown that people who believe in a higher power tend to live longer, have more inner peace and happiness and also tend to accept well the reality of when it is time to go. It also helped a person like me cope with life-threatening illness and having been told more than once that I don’t have long to live. I find that the words and teaching of Jesus ground and guide me, but long ago I gave up on a god of control: all powerful and all knowing but not able to stop evil and injustice and the slaughter of innocents in all times and all seasons.
I believe in a divine presence. However, this presence is not limited to one religion. This presence nurtures us, guides us and lets us know we are never alone—essential when the news is bad. I experience this presence in my marriage, friendships and wicked moments of unforgivable hilarity. I experience this through All Souls and other faith communities, teaching, students and those divine companions known as dogs—and an occasional cat. All in all, enough lifetimes for one life.
Kenneth Claus ’67 teaches English at Florida International University and religion at Miami Dade College. He also serves as the pro bono pastor of All Souls Miami, a congregation of progressive Christians. For more information, go to www.drclaus.com.